Sigh

I still don't get it you know.
Since small, did I do anything wrong to you?
Since small, who have been bullying me?
Since small, who have been serving you?
Since small, who have been telling fake stories about me?
Since small, who have been showing temper on me?
Since small, who have been listening and doing what you want?
Since small, who have been taking and touching my things without permission?
Since small, who have been giving you things?
Since small, who have been scolding me for unnecessary things?
Since small, since small, since small.
Till now, have I been inpatient?
Do I take what I know that is yours without asking?
Do I scold you, mumble bad words to you, bang the house upside down to you?
Do I not give you things I made, food I cooked, things people gave?
Do I purposely show temper when I see you or know you're around?
Do I talk bad and create bad stories about you?
Do I wish you're hurt?
Do I act like an angel outside like you?
Do I do what you do to me?
Do I, do I, do I.
I waited so long, but nothing much changed.
I'm not someone really patient, but yet I can only be patient.
I always pray you'll change some day, and I'll always be looking forward to that 'some day'.
I spend money to buy you a gift, and yet I get not even a 'thank you'.
All you do is bang at me, mumble badwords at me, show off, show temper.
But what did I do to you that made you do all these for over 8 years non stop?
All these will be history.
I think you may want to tell your children about how you say you love me by doing all these.
Do you know how many billions of times I cry because of you?
Do you know my eyes got so worse because of you?
Why can't you treat me good even for one day?
Do to others what you want others to do to you.
Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you.
Don't do to others what others do to you.
And that's why I don't do what you do to me to you.
I pray and pray. I wait and wait.
All I can do is just tolerate.
If that makes you happy, seing me being suffered.
Okay, up to you.
But somehow, it's been almost my whole life living with such environment.
I try to control myself not to learn anything bad.
But if I got your attitude, don't blame me.
I don't think I'm aware. Maybe I can't control, maybe some mental problem.
But whatever you do, God is watching.
I will always pray.
For that is the most powerful thing to do, although it takes real long time or maybe forever to happen.
I am weak but He is strong.
And because of Him, I have patience, and that is the strength he gave.
It is a Gift from God.